For The Child
May 01, 2007

Imus and Irony

April couldn't end quickly enough this year.

Between the horrific events at Virginia Tech, and the controversy over Don Imus's remarks, racism and violence hit us square in the face.

Distance brings perspective and insights that are difficult to see in the heat of the moment. Clearly, Don Imus's comments about the women on the Rutgers University basketball team were reprehensible. Equally disturbing is the fact that this is not the first time that Imus has danced on the dark side of respect-but this time he stepped way over the line.

Whatever camp you are in: the "he got what he deserved" camp or the "he apologized sincerely/ has done so much good/is entitled to make mistakes etc, camp one can't help wondering how Imus actually learned the words in the first place? Whatever the source-his parents, his kids, his kindergarten teacher or rap music-he learned them. It seems that racism (and other "isms") are easy to learn. What we need to figure out is how to unlearn them. We need to figure out how to ensure that the next generation understands that there are real consequences of racism-on an individual and global scale.

Imus's saga was replaced in the headlines by the massacre at Virginia Tech. In the midst of the mourning and the Monday morning quarterbacking of school officials' actions or inactions, the identity of the perpetrator was released. Cho Seung-Hui Choh Suhng immigrated to the United States from South Korea in 1992 when he was around 8 years old. By most accounts Cho was a troubled and withdrawn young man. But, was he, like the Columbine gunmen, bullied beyond the breaking point? Or was he simply a ticking bomb waiting to explode? We may never know what pushed Cho over the edge, but the possibility that racial intolerance may have been a factor can not and should not be overlooked.

Even as the world mourned for the victims and their families, the South Korean government said they "hoped the tragedy would not stir up racial prejudice or confrontation." (www.msnbc.com 4/17/07). The thought that the actions of one troubled South Korean-born kid might spawn episodes of racism against other people with Asian backgrounds raised its ugly head pretty quickly after Cho was identified. Before anyone dismisses notion as ridicules or this as impossible-remember the residual affects that 9/11 has had on people of Middle Eastern decent.

That public declaration on the part of the South Korean government took guts-in releasing that statement they acknowledged that racism is alive and well in the United States.

But here is where we, as parents, need to be careful and can make a difference.

Our kids are smart and aware of what happens in the world. They quickly see that these events are linked-both involve people of color and allegations of racism. It doesn't take kids long to connect the dots and asking "who will be next on the hot seat" and "will it be me?"

We need to be extra careful to provide children with the facts-and for young kids, just the ones they ask for. We need to remember that how we react to these two situations-one in outrage and one in fear-will tell them a great deal about how we view people of color.

Don Imus's comments had significant consequences and we can not ignore them. Cho's actions had serious consequences and we can not ignore them. But they are the proverbial two sides of the same coin. On one side, we have the righteous indignation generated when an entire segment of our population was insulted. On the other side, we have the fear that one man's actions will have unwarranted repercussions for all members of a racial/ethnic minority.

The best thing that can do is make sure that we show our children how not to act and what not to say. Kids learn from observing how the adults in their lives respond in every situation-and they are always watching us. They also have an uncanny ability of knowing when we are duplicitous. We can't say that we are not racist if we condone Imus's behavior and we also can't say we are not racist if we look askance at every Asian person we come across because the person responsible for the terrible destruction of life in Blacksburg, VA was born in Korea.

This is the time to walk the walk and talk the talk.

What are you not going to say today?