For The Child
June 06, 2005

Overcoming Bias, Step Three: Watch Out for Ants!

An ant may well destroy an entire dam. (Chinese proverb)

This ancient Chinese proverb reminds us that if a small problem is overlooked, it could develop into a big disaster. Remember, ants can multiply,then make tunnels in the dam allowing the water to soak in and eventually cause the dam to collapse.

We have to be careful of the “ants” around us and be mindful that they can multiply and cause damage even to the strongest structures.

But, who are the “ants”?
Where are the “ants” in our children’s schools and classrooms?
What role do “ants” play in the drama that we face when as turn the vicious circle of bias into the virtuous circle of respect for everyone?

We all have “ants” in our lives-sometimes they are people and sometimes they are attitudes and beliefs. They run the gamut from seemingly innocent comments (“Her mommy must be dead, that is why she was adopted”), to playground taunts (teasing about race, family formation, sexual preferences, learning ability-or any other ‘ism”) all the way up to physical violence—in a truly vicious circle. And the vicious circle starts small-with one person, one remark-and then like the ants at the dam, multiplies.

But, the ants don’t start out with the goal of toppling the dam just as our children don’t consciously decide to be biased.

Children come into our lives like clean sheets of paper, waiting for us to help them write their life stories. We feed them, we nurture them, we love them-and we cement our own biases into them.

But what would happen if, when a child notices differences between himself and other people that we teach them that these differences are something to be embraced and enjoyed instead of feared and loathed?

What if we taught them that it is really okay to be different -and we really lived like this!

What would happen if at this critical fork-when kids first notice differences-we were able to turn away the vicious circle that leads from noticing differences to bias; from bias to intolerance and from intolerance to hate and move into a virtuous circle that goes from noticing difference, to acceptance -regardless of differences; from acceptance to respect and from respect to celebration?

Can you imagine what would happen if we were able to stop the “ants” before they built they multiplied, before they built their tunnels and before the dam came crashing down? And like ants, the beginnings of bias and intolerance are small and seemingly powerless. The “ants” of bias start with words, beliefs, attitudes and actions. Like the insects, the “ants” of bias become stronger as they multiply and become entrenched in our children, classrooms and societies. The “ants” of bias are as much a threat to us as the insects can be to the dam.

What would happen if we stopped the “ants” in their tracks, before they did any damage. What would happen if we made a conscious effort to get connected to our biases and then committed ourselves to not passing them on to our children. What would happen if we had a ‘zero tolerance’ approach to bullying, instead of explaining it away as a ‘normal’ childhood rite of passage. What would happen if we were able to integrate our minds, homes, classrooms, communities with real images of real diversity.

In a world where 160,000 kids miss school every day because of bullying and where 1 in three children are the victims of bullying—many without parent’s or teacher’s being aware that it is happening, it seems that we had better make sure that we do whatever we can to turn the tide.

Let the ‘ants’ of acceptance and respect multiply and build the tunnels that will connect all of our children.

Start today!

Have you also seen these articles?
 » Overcoming Bias, Step Two: Cut Out Sugar
 » Overcoming Bias, Step One: Feed the Right Wolf