For The Child
April 04, 2005

Overcoming Bias, Step One: Feed the Right Wolf

In the face of a long history of prejudice, and living in an environment that unavoidably re-enforces our fears and intolerances, the task of raising our children to be respect and celebrate people who are ethnically, culturally or racially different than we are is understandably daunting.

As we have discussed, large part of the bias in this country is due to a lack of education about its unique people and their heritages. The subtle, and not so subtle, reminders in our daily lives as to what those differences are should not necessarily be deemed an unavoidable curse that will continue to plague us with negativity.

Instead, our surroundings offer open doors that afford us opportunities to go beneath the skin of our neighbors and educate our children about whom they are and why we should not be afraid of people who are different-simply because they are different.

Children are incredibly trusting by nature, and the distrust that they may form about other cultures is a learned behavior. Toddlers in a playground will welcome anyone to play with them without bias to sex or color of their skin. As a child grows, the way they start to choose friends changes, their avenue of choice becomes narrower, and their willingness to accept others fades.

The subtle, and not so subtle, inputs that form the opinions of our children about others can be challenged through positive discussion and informative education.

Children are not stupid, and they will not believe what we teach them if we do not believe it ourselves. Therefore, the first place to start in preparing our children to help create and sustain a culturally diverse future is with a self-evaluation.

Read the following questions, and record your thoughts and emotions after each one. Take your time and be honest with yourself. Then read your reactions to the questions, and ask yourself why you think you feel that way, and what you can do to change those feelings and opinions that are negative. Once you have completed that step, you are ready to start working with your children.

• How do you feel about white people?
• How do you feel about African Americans?
• How do you feel about Latinos?
• How do you feel about Arabs?
• How do you feel about Asians?
• How do you feel about Russians?
• How do you feel about Indians (Hindu)?
• How do you feel about Native Americans?
• How do you feel about Southerners?
• How do you feel about Northerners?
• How do you feel about people on welfare?
• How do you feel about people that don't speak English?
• How do you feel about homosexuals?
• How do you feel about same sex marriages?
• How do you feel about interracial marriages?
• How do you feel about people who are mentally or physically handicapped?
• How do you feel about children who are adopted or in foster homes?

The key to the above questions is in realizing their abstractness. Learn that whatever feelings the above questions may have conjured in you about a group of people are just as abstract. The feelings are more about you and your biases than about any group of real people. Any person must be approached as an individual, their uniqueness acknowledged and their heritage appreciated.

Here is some food for thought from an old Cherokee parable:

Let's feed the right wolf and let's get started today.

Have you also seen these articles?
 » Overcoming Bias, Step Three: Watch Out for Ants!
 » Overcoming Bias, Step Two: Cut Out Sugar