For The Child
September 03, 2004

School Daze: Surviving Elementary School

Many of us face the school year with trepidation. We wonder:

• When will our child have to produce a family tree, or be the "Star of the Week"?
• How will they handle Grandparents Day if they don't have grandparents?
• What is the best way to communicate that Mother's Day may be celebrated at Mothers' Day?
• And how to we do all of that without making our children want to deny they know us?

Thankfully, we have many resources chock full of great information. But sometimes the sheer volume is a problem. The vision of parents marching into a classroom with a wheelbarrow full of great information may be fodder for cartoons, but it is something that we over-zealous and protective parents may find rings a bit too true. We can overwhelm our already overwhelmed teachers with our passion for our subject. And isn't our real goal more about making every child (especially our own) in the classroom successful rather than becoming just an adoption evangelist?

Let's make it easy for everyone to be successful and make it easy for the teachers!

Let's keep things simple, fun and most importantly inclusive. Most teachers we surveyed were more interested in lessons and special presentations that were broader and touched more than one student. For example, a presentation on adoption can be shaped within the broader topic of family formation. The benefits: it pertains to more kids and your child doesn't get hit with the spotlight.

In the spirit of simplicity we have developed a framework to help you. So, fasten your seat BELT and hang on for the ride!

B-bias: we all have them. You do and your child's teachers do. Make sure that you evaluate and own your biases and help your teachers do the same. A great tool: www.tolerance.org. Take the test. The results may surprise you. Plan your meetings and presentation with them in mind.

E-environment: Help your teachers build environments that support all kinds of families, family formations, races, cultures and choices. Make sure that your child's classroom is stocked with books you think are great (try Families are Forever or The Family Book). A well-thought out approach to a multi-cultural environment will speak louder and longer than any presentation you do in school. Read What's The Best Learning Environment for Our Children? for more information on how to create a multi-cultural environment at home and in the classroom.

L-language: before you can insist on positive adoption language you have to alert people that there is such a thing as positive adoption language. You might want to take it a step further and incorporate 'people-first' language i.e., people who are blind, not blind people and sitting like a pretzel and not an Indian. Remember that you must also 'walk the walk and talk the talk' at home.

T-teach the teachers: teachers truly want all children in their classrooms to be successful and don't knowingly give assignments that put some child at a disadvantage. Give your teacher the resources he/she needs to make assignment broad enough that all students can succeed. And remember, if your teacher doesn't know about your child's needs he/she cannot shape assignments appropriately. But, please don't overload your teacher with information. Edit carefully. Be helpful and be available. Then everyone—especially your child-wins!

Join our Net Seminar featuring Adam Pertman, author of Adoption Nation, Ruth Lyn Meese, author of Children of Intercountry Adoption in Schools and Janet Stork, Head of School at Hampton Day School on September 21st at 7pm Eastern and learn from both sides of the desk how to successfully and effectively be your child's advocate. You will get specific game plans and strategies that work. Go to simpleasthat.com/webcast/school.php for more information and to enroll. We hope to "see" you in cyberspace!

Let us know what you have done that works! We'll share it with our vibrant and growing community.

If you would like a copy of the Fasten Your Seat BELT Power Point presentation contact: deb@simpleasthat.com just let us know.