For The Child
November 05, 2003

Build a Multi-cultural Environment

In the United States, the dramatic increase of international, trans-racial adoptions coupled with the exploding number of multi-racial/cultural partnerships has created an enormous number of multi-cultural families. As we all work our way through parenting children who may or may not share our ethnicities, we find ourselves scratching our heads wondering how to create a multi-cultural environment for our children that is reflective and respectful of all family members.

We know that the connections between race and culture are important building blocks to children's self-esteem. However, knowing and doing are often two different animals. The question remains "where do I start?" and "what do I do?"

We have put together the five steps every parent needs to go through in order to create a multi-cultural home. Sometimes funny (think a 45 year old Caucasian women leading a group of three year olds in a Chinese Lion dance at a Chinese New Year celebration) and sometimes poignant (a child's sigh of recognition as they connect to the beauty of the country they came from), they are hard-learned lessons that can't be wasted. This is a behind the scenes look at creating a life for your family that builds real bridges across cultures.

1. Make it easy
1. Do things that interest you. If you child is from Viet Nam, take a cooking class and use those skills to create an ethnic meal once a week. If you want to learn Spanish, that's great, if you don't want to learn it, that's ok, too. Your child will react to your genuine pleasure that you get from the activities you choose. They will know pretty quickly if you a 'faking it'!
2. Read, Read, Read. Novels and biographies are often more approachable than historical tomes.
3. Keep a scrapbook of newspaper clipping that involve your child's culture. They will be able to get a sense of their culture against the broader landscape of world events.


2. Please, Mom, not another Chinese dance lesson!
1. If, despite your best efforts to give your children exposure to their culture they choose other activities, accept it. There is nothing like an Asian child enjoying Irish Step dancing to break down the walls of bias! You will likely find that your child will appreciate your efforts when he is older.
2. Find things that you can do together and that will interest you both! A class in Russian classic literature will likely bore a seven-year old, but a trip to the Bolshoi ballet may engage her!


3. Walk a mile in her shoes!
1. Travel and visit ethnic neighborhoods. It will be interesting for your child to see you as the one who is different rather than her!
2. Make sure you are aware of all the stereotypes that bombard her and do what you can to offset them. Find positive ethnic role models that she can relate to and go out of your way to point out stereotypes when you see them.
3. Find support groups (for kids and parents) that expose her to kids just like her.


4. Celebrate in Style
1. Celebrate all the holidays that are important to your family.
2. Mix it up. A Chinese New Year Party can include bagels and lox! Cinco de Mayo can be a great jumping off point for understanding freedom and independence.
3. Help your child's teachers celebrate in school. Many schools and teachers are open to parents' suggestions. Make it easy for your child's teacher to say yes with a celebration that is completely turnkey for the teacher.


5. If it walks and talks like a duck---it's a duck!
1. You are a multi-cultural family. Enjoy it, don't hide it. Decorate your home with ethnic furniture
2. Surround yourselves with families of all shapes and sizes.
3. Select books, toys and music that your child will find interesting and help her learn about her culture.
4. Find friends that share the same culture and/or circumstances; join the support groups that make sense.

Be involved and show interest. If you embark on the journey together you will all enjoy and be richer for it.

What have you done in your home to create a multi-cultural environment? What has worked and what didn't meet your expectations? Share them with us all at forthechild@simpleasthat.com.

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